Wanton/Waiting
"To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul. O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me. Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame; they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous."
– Psalm 25:1-3
The waiting is only as good as the awaited. May I wait for you alone. May I not burn away wantonly. May I not desire treacherous things. Give me a long, hard, disciplined patient, trust in you alone. You tell me that this kind of waiting and trust will not disappoint me. May I believe this. So often I feel I will be disappointed in you. I feel like wanton treachery will be the surest bet for true joy and satisfaction. But then it comes - the things I dread the most:
The shame.
The embarrassment.
The dissatisfaction.
The disappointment.
The disillusionment.
The world doesn't want me to believe this. The flesh wants me to doubt it. The devil longs to exult in my every defeat. My timeless enemies are eager to see me fall. But they cannot exult in my trust. They cannot boast in my waiting. They cannot relish my deep faith in your trustworthiness and power.
Lift up my soul – away from the wanton treachery of this, and every, age. My hope is in you alone.
I have never been ashamed of waiting.
Wanton:
Malicious, spiteful, wicked, cruel, sexually immodest, promiscuous, immodest, indecent, shameless, abandoned, lustful, lecherous, lascivious, debauched, degenerate, corrupt.
Waiting:
To delay movement or action until some event or time; to remain in readiness. To delay movement or action until the arrival or occurrence of; to await.
